Quote# 13438

No one goes to bed hungry that is trusting in God to provide for them.

JohnR7, Christian Forums 69 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 7

Quote# 13439

[To the tune of "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot]

"Baby Got Book"
Lyrics by Dan Smith; Copyright 2004

Intro
Oh my goodness, Becky, look at her Bible
It is so big
She looks like one of those preacher guys girlfriends
But...you know...Who understands those preacher boys
They only talk to her because she looks like Mother Teresa, ok?
I mean her Bible...it's just so big
I can't believe it's so huge
Uggh! It gross!
Look, she's just so...righteous

Verse 1
I like big Bibles and I can not lie
You Christian brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with a KJV
And a book mark in Proverbs
You get stoked
Got her name engraved
So you know that girl is saved
It looks like one of those large ones
With plenty o' space in the margins
Oh baby, I wanna read witcha
Cause your Bible's got pictures
My minister tried to console me
But that Book you got makes ("M-m-me so holy")
Ooh, momma-mia
You say you want koinonia
Well, bless me, bless me
And teach me about John Wesley

I saw her prayingWhile I was DJing
She got grace...pretty face
She ain't goin' down to the bad place

I'm tired of heathen guys
Sayin' they like pocket-size
Ask the average Christian to take a look
She's gotta pack much Book

So...Fellas (Yeah), fellas (Yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the Book (Oh yeah!)
Well, read it (Read it!), read it (Read it!), read that Holy Book
Baby got Book

Chorus
(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)
Baby got Book
(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)

Verse 2
I like 'em leather and bound
It's 50 pounds
I just can't understand
How it is, some weenie
Wants the Bible on CD
She wanna get you saved
Amen! Double up! A-men!

I ain't talkin' about a paraphrase
Cuz Paul wouldn't use those anyways
like 'em real thick and red-letteredYou can't find nothin' better
Southpaw's in love
Bibles that big are unheard of

So I'm sittin' here thinkin' "What if...
I find me a girl that shows midriff?"
You can have those bimbos
I'll keep those chick that do devos
A word to the Christian sistas
I can't resist yaI'll do God's time witcha
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna pray
Til the break of day
Baby, got it goin' on
Like the wife in Pro-verbs 31

We just might get engaged
When we finish reading this page
Cuz it's worn and it's torn
And I know this girl's reborn

So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna save people from Hades (yeah) Then read it...'til the pages fall out
Even white preachers got to shout
Baby got Book

(Thompson Chain with big red letters)
Baby got Book

Yeah baby
When it comes to a good book
Stephen King's resume just can't compare
39 + 27 = 66 books
And if you're Catholic...there's even more

So your girlfriend quotes Bill Hybels
But does she got a big Bible?
Cuz that little things she's got won't start a revival
My Bible study don't want none,Unless you got Book, Hon

...You can read Clancy or Grisham
But please don't loose this Book

Some brothers wanna play that hard hard role
And tell you that Book's too old
So they toss it and burn it
And I pull up quick to just learn it
So your girl likes paperback? Well I ain't down with that
Cuz my girlfriend's hot her Bible's rockin'
And she's got good doctrine
To the atheist chicks who try to dis
You ain't it Miss Priss
Give me a Christian, I'm insistin'
And I'll greet her with some holy kissin'
Some pervert tried to chase But he didn't make it past first base
She's quick to resist temptation
And she loves a new translation
So ladies who were lost and found
If you want the triple-six thrown down
Dial 1-800-reads-a-lot
And teach me about those Psalms
Baby got Book

(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)
Baby got Book
(Thompson Chain with big red letters)

Bible college knowledge but she still got Book (4 Xs)

Southpaw, White Boy DJ 99 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: -2
Submitted By: StrangerOnAForeignShore

Quote# 13441

[After being asked whether she meant her comment regarding Bill Clinton's supposed homosexuality]

Everyone has always known wildly promiscuous heterosexual men have a whiff of the bathhouse about them. It's not only not a joke, it's not even surprising. If feminists were not so in love with Bill Clinton - this is like standard - for any feminist with the benefit of something beyond a community college education, this is standard feminist doctrine that wild promiscuity shows a fear/hostility with women.

Ann Coulter, Hardball 51 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: Sierra

Quote# 13444

[How to spot an evo-babbler, emphasis original]

3) Claims you are quoting evolutionists out of context. An all time Talk.Origins classic! 90% probability!

2) Asks you to quote from the proper scientific literature (i.e only pro-evolution literature). This brings a solid 90% probability you have a genuine evo-babbler on your hands!

1) And the number one sure sign – cites articles from the Talk.Origins repository, where you will be fortunate to find 1 scholarly article out of every 50. If done just once, it still registers in at an impressive 80% accuracy! If they list more than one reference to Talk.Origins in the same post, you have a dead-ringer at 99.98% probability!

Fred Williams, Evolution Fairytale Forum 41 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Maronan

Quote# 13445

[Desperately missing C.S. Lewis' point, and deducing the Chronicles of Narnia is Satanic propaganda]

After his resurrection, Aslan said, "If the Witch knew the true meaning of sacrifice, she might have interpreted the Deep Magic differently. That when a willing victim who has committed no treachery is killed in a traitor's stead, the Stone Table will crack and even Death itself will turn backwards."
It appears that the 'deep magic' is the code or law of Narnia. If we were to assume the parallel between Christianity and the world of Narnia existed, we would have to assume that the 'Deep Magic' is a type of the Word of God. In fact, Aslan said, "Do not cite the Deep Magic to me Witch. I was there when it was written." So, we have the first blasphemy: If the author is attempting to parallel Chronicles of Narnia then the 'Deep Magic' is a parallel to the Word of God. We cannot compare any magic to the Holy Word of God! To do so would make God Himself a liar as God pronounced witchcraft (the practice of using magic) to be a sin!

Bro. Randy, Teens4Christ 39 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 6

Quote# 13446

Well I for one do HATE Queers, they are scum, Low Life predators,they should be treated like ALL predators and Eliminated.
Does THAT answer you whinny little Comment.And POWER exsits with the Person that Will use it, not some purse carrying Sissy Boy.
Get the Message.

Big Iron, Speakout.com 57 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5

Quote# 13451

<a href="http://www.kids4truth.com/watchmaker/watch.html" target="_blank">Video of a watch evolving in the ocean...</a>

kids4truth, kids4truth 66 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1

Quote# 13454

"Americans just aren't gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish," - John Morris, president of the Institute for Creation Research in San Diego

John Morris, Associated Press 55 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 8

Quote# 13459

[Explaining how calculations were made for the unlikelihood of Earth being able to support life]

They looked at what humans needed for life. I don't know what the big deal is about the laws of physics. Can't the laws of physics be different in another planet if there is one? I agree with many of the points the movie brought out though, like needed liquid water, the right amount of sun, things like that. If there is another planet out there, they probably have the same Holy Bible we do and everything. Really cool.

lily00, Christian Forums 37 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 6

Quote# 13460

[Reply to an article on invisibility being possible in the near future]

Maybe this is a way to scientifically ligitimize demonic activity in the physical realm.

For example:

You feel something tapping your shoulder, but you can't see it. Science will tell you it's an old friend who's invisible. When actually it's straight from the pits of hell.

bethemoon, Fulfilled Prophecy Forums 67 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 8

Quote# 13461

[This isn't fundie, but the subject matter is relevant and it's too funny not to submit]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtjRfg8ClqY" target="_blank">The Dr. Seuss Bible.</a>

Kids in the Hall, YouTube 4 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Jeremy

Quote# 13463

3. Imagination is evil and wicked. You call it an imagination, God calls it evil. (Genesis 8:21) It doesn't matter if you think that a little imagination is okay, it's wicked.

missions2005, teens-4-christ 91 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 18

Quote# 13467

['one question: starlight from stars billions of light-years way reaching us...explain.']

No one can count to a billion, so how is it that we know the stars are billions of light years away?

mthtchr05, Yahoo! Answers 54 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 5

Quote# 13468

It strikes me you don't give a darn about the rule of law, Winston Jen. You celebrate "underground" euthanasia and people defying the law.

If society, in its democratic wisdom, doesn't legalize assisted suicide, that law should be respected and obeyed. When it is violated, it should be enforced. Or, do you believe in underground bank robbery, too?

Wesley J Smith, Secondhand Smoke Blog 29 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Winston Jen

Quote# 13471

The constructal theory of global optimization under local constraints explains in a simple manner the shapes that arise in nature.

I will use my own words to explain my speculation.

droom = Main highway of evolution.
joon = Exit out of the main highway of evolution, for a involutionary direction.
aodeen= Droom and joons altoghether, shape and direction of life in time.
gooje = First form of life perfectly unique.
kool = Combination of goojes.
lasco = Population of same gooje.
greu = Massive gooje potential.

An Aodeen according to "constructal theory" will take a shape and form just like any other creative meaning of the nature: A lightning, a Delta's river, blood vessels, the perfect shape of an egg, the cracks of a land without water, a marathon, statistics etc.

Example: A Lightning will start from a certain point in the sky. One main ramification will follow its way further than all the other ramifications. Sometimes this ramification will strike on land.

The very same way Aodeen started from a certain point in time. Droom
followed its way up to humanity leaving behind Joons and creating new Joons.
Goojes took the direction of Droom and Joons. What we find in Droom today is at most all the Goojes when life was created . It's probable to find the same Gooje in different Joons of the past.

Example. The reason why the skin colour and the nose of 50 cent are more "alike" with a gorilla's than G.W.Bush's skin colour and nose compared with a gorilla is because

- kool X1 took The Droom , then exit the Joon to Gorilla
- kool X2 took The Droom , then exit the Joon to Gorilla2
- kool X3 took The Droom , then exit the Joon to Gorilla3
- kool X4 took The Droom , continued the Droom to 50 Cent
- No other kool X took the Droom to G.W. Bush

Humanity is massive carrier of Goje. Even though G.W Bush does not have Kool X , he has Kool Y found in the chimpanzee. 50 Cent doesn't have Kool Y but what makes Humanity so special to be in Droom is the Greu.

alex mtl, EvC Forum 199 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 265

Quote# 14387

I disagree with the premise of the geologic column, since there is no evidence for it (it only exists in the text books). Mt St Helens was your death knell, since even some unbelieving geologist scientists admit 90% of all geology was overturned by that event. Now you even have a growing number of evos who admit the evidence for the Grand Canyon supports the theory that it was carved out rapidly by a water breech. So much for the “geologic column” existing there!

Fred Williams, Evolution Fairytale Discussion Forum 13 Comments [8/1/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 8